How Can a Tantric Intimacy Coach Help a Couple Sexually?

Tantric intimacy coaches can offer support and guidance for a variety of things, and because they work with and through the body, the results are often observable much faster. Tantra enables us to turn our pain into wisdom, power and insight changing our lives and relationships for the better. Exponentially better, if I may.

Because it is often difficult to understand where and how to hold compassionate space for our partner when we are also hurt, irritated, angry, etcetera, it is helpful to work with an intimacy coach to have a third neutral party with your best interest in mind. Tantric coaches use deep, intuitive insights paired with tools that stimulate the breath, new types of movement, sounds and touch to bring pain to the surface in order to heal and transmute.

Transmutation in Tantra is likened to alchemy, and Tantric alchemy is all about helping people discover their true power by shedding light on the things that have historically held them back. Whether an individual or couple need to release shame, fear, grief, guilt or old, complex stories that cause chaos and dysfunction, working with tantra has proven to be effective and efficient in providing the necessary changes.

Couples often experience the results of these changes in deeper connection, greater shared joy and bliss and a sense of unwavering unity. Working with subtle energy allows us to “pinpoint” the origins, so to speak, of old pains and insecurities and release them from the root.

In doing so, couples and individuals see an increase in desire and libido, more comfort and ease in communication and sex, stronger and revived polarity or attraction to one another. Not to mention the body, mind and soul levels shifts that occur once we begin to explore love and reality through the lens of an intentional and sacred connection.

Once Tantra helps us step into our sovereignty and comfort with the unknown, we experience a lessening of co-dependence, we feel free from anger, resentment and distrust, experience more energy and stamina throughout our days and during intimacy and experience greater abundance all around. Why? First, because we learn to better resource peace, joy and healing powers for ourselves instead of relying on external sources in excess. Second, because through developing and maintaining these new habits, we build a cumulatively closer relationship to spirit, or the power through which our very lives are manifest.

We learn to harness and master our energy in ways that have the power to change our lives dramatically.

What is a Tantric Priestess?

You have read that Tantra brings us closer to spirit and you may have intuited that those who practice and train in the Tantric arts have developed certain abilities. Known as Siddhis in yoga, the gifts that come along with any committed yogic practice range far and wide in their manifestations between each practitioner. 

A dakini, or Tantric priestess, has specifically trained in the arts of healing through working with subtle energy, or spirit, and opening up the very channels that enable experiences including full body orgasms, psychic abilities, powerfully healing touch and mor She works with the light body, also known as Ka, Chi or Prana and exercises the cultivation of sexual energy for the purpose of healing herself and others.

But what does a tantric priestess do for individuals and couples seeking healing and change? She can help illuminate the path towards greater enlightenment through her presence and care for your body, mind and soul. She is a facilitator of heart centered connection who can sense and communicate where subtle energy is stuck or stagnant, preventing vitality, sexual & spiritual sovereignty and inner peace. As Tantric sessions require facilitation with deep seated compassion and care, a dakini or priestess is also someone who holds people in an unconditionally loving container so that their awakening and rebirth processes unfold safely.

She is not only an adept in some form of Tantra Yoga but a vessel through which the arts are shared and transmitted.

What is Tantra Yoga?

Tantra yoga encompasses many practices. In the West, we often refer to the different approaches as white, pink, red and black.

White tantra refers to the personal purification processes that support and act as a steady foundation to all other types of tantra. It includes a personal meditation, breathwork and, for some, asana practice which in essence enable greater clarity and personal ability for deeper reflection, healing and transmutation of wounding and patterns of deviation from one’s center, or eternal fire within. It is the basis of radiance and integration of an individual’s spirituality throughout the rest of their lifestyle and supports enhanced vitality levels through nurturing optimal mental, physical and emotional health. Some Tantrics choose this path exclusively for it’s facilitation of clearer connection to spirit and are less sex-focused in their journey; it is a path of transcendence.

Red tantra, as a practice, promotes a greater focus on eros or the erotic aspects of all of life. The practices of red tantra are generally those which have proven to help individuals overcome deep sexual shame, insecurities and the feeling of being touch starved, for instance. Red tantra is a practice that engages in sexual or sensual activities with a partner or partners. These activities generally help people drop into their physical bodies with more awareness and assist individuals in understanding how to best navigate intimate and sexual experiences according to their needs. 

This contrasts to the focus of the spiritual body in White Tantra, however it is important to mention that both are relative to an integrated and embodied understanding of spirituality. The physical and spiritual bodies both are interconnected, supportive and essential to experiencing the fullness the Tantric path has to offer to the human form.

Pink tantra weaves the two forms together in order to honor the common desire to integrate spirituality and sexuality, or to better embody Sacred Sexuality. Pink tantra recognizes the interplay of the mind, body, emotions and soul behind healthy intimacy and has evolved to become an accessible practice for those seeking something that fits with the norms of a person’s desires, from basic to aspirational. With an emphasis on love and the meeting of all energy at the heart, pink tantra offers reinforcement and reinvigoration of love relationships while supporting the individual in their pursuit of spiritual growth.

Each of these “types” of Tantra include a vast array of practices. Because most of my clients are seeking couples based Tantric practices, I have listed some below to get you started.

Five Introductory Couples Tantra Yoga Practices

Yabyum

You may have already heard of this one, or maybe you’ve seen it and thought it was just a meditation position of the deities. Actually, Yab Yum is a wonderful couples practice for helping sync two people together more deeply before they begin lovemaking. A few tips to enhance the experience: breath cyclically together, place one hand on each other’s heart and rest in the “third eye kiss” position, or forehead to forehead, while enjoying this activity.

Eye Gazing

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, so why not do a little soul gazing before jumping into foreplay? It help to focus on just one eye, like the left, which is considered more receptive as the left side body is considered the “feminine side” in Eastern medicine and philosophy. Sit down in lotus pose or in a generally comfortable position and look into each others eyes for ten minutes, then observe how much closer you feel afterwards.

Belly to Belly Breathing

This one is pretty simple: lay down with one person on top of the other, face to face, and breathe into your bellies simultaneously. It is said to help calm the nervous system and create closeness along with stronger feelings of connection.

Polarity Play

Polarity play is great for couples who want to focus on cultivating either more receptivity or assertiveness between partners and it can really get some people right out of their comfort zone. Try starting off by playing with your subtle energies first by engaging in yoni or lingam gazing. Yoni is the Sanskrit word used to describe the female sex center and lingam is it’s male counterpart. Find yourselves nude and in reclined positions as your partner gazes at your genitals and shares their neutral and loving observations with you. Afterwards, you can move into blindfolding your partner and touching, teasing, stimulating and pleasing them in imaginative ways. Take turns. Who is more comfortable giving? What about receiving?

Light Touch Tantric Massage

Take turns caressing one another’s naked bodies lightly while the receiver provides feedback on the level of pleasure they’re experiencing. Ask them to share how good your touch feels on a scale of 0 to 10 as you move slowly into different zones of their body. Remember what they like and use this new knowledge to turn them on in the future, too. Swap roles in this Tantric Massage practice. Use essential oils to enhance the sensory stimulation. Try it with props and toys for different types of touch.

Couples Tantra Retreats

Some of the benefits of going on retreat as a couple include learning new skills for enhanced intimacy, opening powerful doors for the deepening of your connection, escaping from the everyday stresses that often compound interpersonal discord and more all in an environment that is safe and built to be supportive.

If you are struggling to regain trust or faith in your partnership, feeling like the “magic” or desire is lost, feeling numb physically or emotionally, an in person retreat with an dedicated facilitator can make a world of a difference.

To learn more about upcoming couples tantra retreats, workshops and more, I invite you to subscribe to my email list by clicking here.