How a Couples Intimacy Retreat Can Help Cure Erectile Dysfunction, Naturally
Erectile dysfunction is more common than most people believe,
and what causes it is beyond what most people know how to address on their own. When it isn’t a physical issue, it’s usually an emotional or psychological one. I’m going to share an approach to tackling a married sex life that is lack luster due to erectile dysfunction rooted in relationship problems, based on my proven experience at couple’s retreats.
First, though, it’s important to mention that anyone you choose to support your journey of overcoming any kind of intimate challenge, whether erectile dysfunction, rapid ejaculation, painful intercourse or communication issues, should be someone you feel you can trust and fully open up to. Ask for a consultation call with any practitioner or sexologist before committing to a session, a workshop or a retreat.
This is a real scenario from clients that came to see me for a private couples retreat in Sayulita, Mexico (a paradise destination just an hour from Puerto Vallarta). After working with me for just a day and a half, they had sex for the first time in years. They came into the retreat not touching one another and not even really on the same page when it came to believing this would work. After all, curing erectile dysfunction without drugs seems too good to be true, right?
After speaking with me in their pre-retreat call, I set out to create a couples intimacy retreat structure both customized to their exact needs, conflict and anxieties, supported by these proven tools.
Imagine having been married for almost two decades, having three children, experiencing infidelity and divorce, then remarrying only to find that erectile dysfunction is preventing you from making love again, but the doctor says anatomically you should be 100% capable of an erection.
What do you think is the next step? Would it make you nervous to invest in a private couples retreat, hoping someone who takes an alternative approach to health and healing could help you but not convinced it would work, because let’s face it, if it worked, wouldn’t everyone be talking about it by now? Very few people have the bravery and open-mindedness to book a private couples retreat to help heal erectile dysfunction. That’s probably why you haven’t heard of it yet.
Day one with this couple involved a lot more of what looked like talk therapy, or a creative conflict management workshop, except this couple had my laser sharp, undivided attention for multiple hours and made serious progress really fast. They. Were. Ready!
The first session of the second day was a bit lighter and more creative, with a lot of talk and creativity still. Walking into our second afternoon session (day 2), I was greeted with bright, shining smiles and an ecstatically joyful atmosphere when I was told by the husband that they just had sex and it felt like a complete rebirth.
After less than 36 hours on retreat with me, they made a breakthrough and had an amazing and fulfilling sex spree. Needless to say, they hadn’t even made time for lunch.
So, how did we overcome erectile dysfunction and discord in a relationship in just a day and a half, with no medication?
Overcoming The Past Through a Death & Release Ritual
In order for transformation to occur, things must be released. Instead of death of a physical body in the case of transforming a relationship, we seek to identify the grievances, judgements, resentments and attachments to other negative emotional associations and fears that are preventing a couple from making progress and beginning anew.
Anything that does not resonate with fearless, open hearted love or anything that is preventing inner peace which results in relational discord or disharmony is noted for both full processing, repairing and release.
Those things could look like fears of inadequacy, resistance to change, anxiety around erectile dysfunction, walls up that prevent vulnerability and intimacy, the need to be right, fears of needs not being met, old stories, beliefs or identities, the need to control and, the list goes on and on…
These are difficult to identify and heal without a caring yet neutral third party to maintain an intentional setting and dynamic towards growth and healing, namely a coach and facilitator with the skills and experience to guide two people out of their past of sexual dissatisfaction, infidelity, mistrust and even divorce.
Once identified, I led these clients through a short ritual during which they were instructed to let go, or let these stories die, in order to move forward. For the items that were still alive in their bodies and in the relationship, we took further steps.
Addressing Emotional and Psychological Suffering and Conflict Using Non-Violent Communication and Creative Problem Solving
Because we cannot simply “let go” of some things, because repair is necessary sometimes, especially conflict and fears that have been deeply imprinted over time or through severely painful experiences, we have tools for building empathy and communication skills in order to overcome and heal them together.
Using non-violent communication to first explore the range of core, universal emotional experiences together helps each individual in a relationship develop deeper empathy and emotional intelligence. Then we begin practicing a new communication style in the face of conflict that expedites resolution with practice.
The third step is for each person to take ownership of their part in a dysfunctional dynamic , which has the power to restore trust and cultivate the kind of wisdom necessary within a couple in order to sustain through future conflicts. This is done through reflective and communication exercises under my supervision.
It sounds simple, and yet there is a lot of overcoming old habits throughout each step in order to usher in security, growth and feelings of mutual desire & respect. These issues are the same ones which block the free flowing exchange energy of erotic and emotional energy within a couple. If one person is carrying deep seated resentment or a tendency to make comparisons, even if just in the mind, they are setting one another up for intimate dysfunction and failure. This negatively impacts a couple sexually, in communication and psychologically.
Setting Standards & Agreements for a Thriving Relationship
It benefits a couple who want to create a relationship culture without future questions pertaining to it’s security to come to agreement on certain standards and expectations. Granting the fact that life and people are always changing and growing, and that we all have needs outside of a relationship that are important for our overall health and wellbeing, the last step in this process is to sit down and come to conclusions about behaviors that need adjusting in order to create a more peaceful, fulfilling and loving relationship for oneself and one’s partner.
These could include social agreements, sexual agreements, financial agreements, agreements addressing communication, family agreements, lifestyle agreements, spiritual agreements, agreements on the boundaries of the relationship or each individual, parenting agreements, and agreements made around grounds for termination.
Because they are agreements, they are written together and neither individual should feel coerced or pressured into doing something they feel would compromise their inner peace or values.
So, what did the couple learn by going through this process?
You may still be unconvinced about the efficacy of this process to meet a man’s needs for arousal, because we’re so often conditioned to believe that men are simpler creatures than woman and that men have a lesser emotional range than women.
While I am not here to argue whether that is true or not, what this couple discovered was how sincerely important devotion, outward expression of desire and trust are for them as a couple to thrive intimately.
Intimacy is comprised of a combination of things, including learning the nuances of a partner’s needs. If sex, trust and communication is suffering in your relationship, you can bet that they’re all connected, and that over time these things usually worsen without the help from a professional in breaking up old patterns in order to make space for the new.
How Can Tantra Help Erectile Dysfunction?
Tantra is a system with origins in ancient times that teaches us about and primes us for the more subtle, sensual experiences in life. Through training in this system, I have discovered that both healing unseen obstructions to emotional and expressive freedom and learning different types of therapeutic touch have proven highly effective in helping erectile dysfunction.
These same practices can help women experiencing pain from intercourse, men suffering from rapid ejaculation and couples challenged by discrepancies in libido.
Of course, there are traditional Tantric tools and what we call Neo-Tantra in the West, the latter being that which focuses more on sexuality. Instruction and guidance of these and the various lineages they are made of will benefit your entire life, sexually and beyond!
Where Can I Learn Tantric Techniques for Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction, Rapid Ejaculation and Painful Intercourse?
As a facilitator and practitioner, I guide individuals and couples both online and in person through instruction and practical application of the kinds of techniques I have mentioned in this article. That includes Erotic Massage, Energy Healing, Lingam Massage, Yoni Massage and more.
And of course, I also teach and facilitate the conflict resolution practices described in the earlier section of this blog article.
Each and every step is important to repairing relationships and restoring desire and harmony.